inner vision

image of me

this thought demands i protect myself, algorithms that alter brain chemistry, clean clothes on a dirty body, things poking out of things, all of it collapsing suddenly giving the appearance of unity, uncomfortable shoes, cold blooded creatures, when we took off the shell all you could see was this soft material, the places where there once was a form of attachment, a muscle designed to cling, everything touching everything all the time, levels of friction, sounds as a result of critical mass, egg clutch, body parts as integral extensions of consciousness, leave me alone or i won't get any real work done, so then it goes to the idea that these emotions generate awareness in me, hatching, you could see the whole heart just beating away, i don't need you to do anything but listen, map stuff, all of me all of the time, where did you go now?, here i will try and manipulate you with these clumsy tools, the turn yourself inside out move, come back come back i want to play again, slurp, come closer, get away from me, lift me up, i need help, stop that, where am i?, shhhhh, they way you know that one, the too much never enoughness forever kiss of this, wanting wants, 5d nature expressed in undulating narratives which alone are relatively static, the smells we don't have anymore, i don't want the carrot to dissolve, what stories will i tell then?, naked time is mandatory for overall health, just cause i don't call you on your bullshit doesn't mean i don't notice, this goes to the merit of some varieties of neglect, each member of the group was chosen to represent a body part of the subject, it doesn't take a second to feel that pain, your organs are a set of agreements, teachers who hate to learn, the crisis that comes when you see that your value has never been in what you do or try to do, my goodness, the circuit still works, the ability to discern, brilliantcrystalsmoonstonesandopals brand, industries based on exploitive practices, cities designed to facilitate this economy, so cranky, i don't understand, discernement's relation to dissection, physical or energetic tools, concretized versions of concepts, ideas as a form of matter, seriously feel your abdomen, core binarism, not for an hour, puddle of fluid, identifying the layers, labia minora, image of me, memories of kitchens, memories are images r us, i can hardly believe i am actually doing it, whatever hairs that are left, pudgy soil, plump earth, engorged river, pink dolphin kisses, all the aspects of water as a metaphor, symbols as a way to trigger complex angles, nothing there until you notice the feeling of pressure you have from the weight of your own clothes on your skin, teeth showing smile, 

milking the nipple inside your head

my stuffness, piles of laundry, planned abandonment, scheduled disasters, gardens growing with no bees, swollen buds busting with scent, we can keep going so that it will hurt more later, yes we can, then we will have experienced what happens when you need to ween, everything going into everything, neuro chemistry rewards, the feeling of accomplishment you get when you master something, it's all about neuro chemical rewards, you know how much it matters by how much it hurts later, you see, okay, devastating impracticalities, they say do what you love, the difference between my imagination and the everyday, i want it to break fully, the maintenance of the body, i like these stories and how they evoke feelings in me, the warehousing, the disposal, even thinking about it in terms of a reward infers that if you aren't experiencing the benefit of the reward then there is a failure in you somehow, that body is in the ground now, laying on the ground on your stomach in the grass pounding the earth with all your energy until you are exhausted, wet cheeks, pink gel, some squishing, chamber filled with light, exposing the architecture of reality as it already is, singing it out of you, plasma bubbles, milking the nipple inside your head, trying to get other people to do it for you, pain experienced at the identification around a limitation, crucibles as requirements for new formations, the music you sent, ^ what he said, confirmation of delivery, my complex mixing with your complex, at first it felt warm like a hug but then i realized he was coming to put me in a choke hold, lets get really attached, really really really attached, the parameters to what facilitates certain levels of engagement, identifying areas that are not sustainable, i opened up the hatch on the floor and saw that there was a fast running river underneath, the train from leningrad to moscow played national radio, ice cream in winter, all the stories and then all the stuff under the story, expert faux painting as a lost art exalted at one time and represented generously inside the hermitage, don't need words for that, the benefit to mapping and investing in this technology is that you are potentially able to sustain the quality of connection you need for nourishment for a longer period of time, this is where your ability to articulate your awareness comes in very handy, my abdomen protruding as though i am pregnant, mind the winding river, it doesn't care, observe me as i struggle with fear, the unmediated rawness of that just completely destroys things, of course i will feel deep grief  throughout this, it's ongoing, every next evokes the last, there is such a thing at times, intolerance towards intolerance towards the self, does this look like a crisis?, it's horrifying for part of myself to see how satisfied another part of myself is by doing very few things in a day, get a job, the core of liquid metal, ill qualified to support large everyday realities, wetting your shirt with my tears, it's like you wake up in the morning and you grab your shovel, how it looks isn't about what it is all the time, this goes to the the naturalness of compromise, the tendency to only want to live in a dream, trusting that neglecting is sometimes necessary, it is going to take alot of energy to get out of the pull of this vortex, reactions you just can't hide, that be shenpa, and then he drew up a plan, lets be wise together, all levels of crumbling, thought habits, so much is about the nature of addiction and our feeling of powerlessness to meet our own needs, thoughtforms live through you, relationships as a form of vibrational mixing creating a type of sound object in space, so you can see how it is the third, you can each directly look at it, there is no blame,

stubby knobs

everything is one giant selfie, look at my sacrum, observing otherness, aspects that seem permanently hobbled, this freedom is free, i don't want to work hard at things i am not designed to do, stubby knobs, honey dripping from it, that's something, different pressures applied in different ways, underneath it all was feeling that i must repress my sexuality, just listening, back leaning on bark, months of kissing, months and months and months, superegoic, be honest about what you see there, the inner hand over your inner eye, years spent in total denial, relationships that feel like coffins, if everyone is in the closet it isn't a closet, strictures energetically, unprocessed grief, somatic brand, little nothings, the nature of desire, it's that geyser inside you, nothing wrong there, i can hear how your brain works, the integrity of a structure is related to it's naturalness, take a look at what you think naturalness means, pretending that we don't love each other game: holy waste of time, thinking that i have to i begin to cry, how did this happen?, outliers, it'soktohavemorethanonelover brand, the need to live your values more and more, in my mind it appears in the form of a galaxy model stemming from the center of my head, what day is it?, what kind of mother am i?, your ability to articulate complex thought forms can be facilitated by the person you are communicating with, i hope you do build the room that is completely filled with bed, bonding is a biochemical expression of our desire to be fed by that which we share with another, what you are left with is all there is, i want to bring it, nobody can love you the same as another so there is no competition, this practice is sustained through my accumulation of debt, i know only a few people where i live, virtual is real, culture's link to the economy defeats it's ability to reflect what is alive and present, preferable outcomes factory, i wish i understood what that meant, close your eyes, colonialist goals, the mixing you have been told not to do is actually designed to liberate you, who is that again?, these hands, washing cow with a nice warm cloth, parts of the body that asked to be seen, i like your ability to recognize the potential depth and breadth of sensuality, i can feel the heat travel up my legs, i want more than one, i know how i want it to be now, connective tissue disease, cartilaginous qualities, who doesn't know what i am talking about?, auto immune disorders, the thing that happens to most women when they get in a relationship, it doesn't look good, sell better, everybody get naked, what's not to love?, it is basically what is behind that, 

hexa octo whatever

i don't know what i can tell you, mega yin and mega yang, more salty taste, the value in that is it's inherent risk, people who don't feel the need to lie all the time, super ego's r us, lots of images to process, watching myself type this, i don't always only write in the morning, tight clothes, chaffed areas, balm melting as your finger gouges the center of the pot, hard plastic, electrically generated sounds, it's that thing, pulsing frequencies, jam on bagel, what does that mean, what do they want?, i don't understand, levels of imagery, layered metaphor, compersion commune, glands and the fluids they excrete, we like that, we like to see what our bodies can do, a lifetime spent trying to control it, the manufacturing of shelter, cow needs cover, you are a form of instrument, get used to it, omg that tastes good, amplifying rhythms and the edges on when they lose coherence, looking in on the edges that separate one form the next, stepping back and it appearing unified, hexa octo whatever, nothing is right or wrong, discomfort is imbued with information for self correction, some people have to be willing to destroy aspects of them selves to model for others their ability to endure beyond the constraints of what the felt they needed to survive at one point, the stretching feeling, holding these gifts looks like sharing, more cream, talented practitioners operate within ethical guidelines, it may only look good on paper, the room lit right up with the stream coming from within my mouth, repeating phrase, nothing does everything, we can put it in my obituary, i don't want to pretend that anymore, one to many relationship, keep the copper mirror polished, twisted up and down knotted threads, your self worth dependent on your ability to contribute to a false economy?, what it feels like to be the river and the dam, a life spent hiding from nothing except your own self exposure back on your self,  if you don't know how to navigate the terrain then you need to learn or work with others who do, my left arm extended outward with an open palm, it comes to you faster than you can run from it, don't worry, feel what way anymore?, disrupted narratives seen as opportunities, overflowing cup in hands, opening at the top of your head, gold entering through the heart, map the binaries until you realize they are spinning and plotting them is like holding your breath, decisions are creative,

reminderer

i don't know what this is or where i am, some of this requires utter abject isolation, none of this fits into the mother role, nunning, available to be loved by many, available to be asked questions of, available to kiss, i love what makes us, all of us and all of it, all the aspects i will never fulfill, that raw thing inside we are constantly trying to protect, reminderer, all dying for intimacy, i can't remember if i have used this line before, sure it reads well but if you saw me you might be disgusted, garbage everywhere, running water, você e tao sensitiva como eu, splenic flexure, can't look at those pictures anymore, the permaculture inside you, desire's desire, go ahead and change your mind, you need to come to the cow to milk her, the material i am made of, grabby, my speakers were all in the wrong place, the nest inside the nest, the tree inside the tree, projection is unavoidable, pinning, what do you think you are doing, gifts you don't know what to do with, if you have exited the parasite then it has been your host, all the levels of need, dirty river, i guess i could go out for a walk, the things i neglect so that i can do this, it isn't a matter of unsustainability, wreckless fufillment, my whole abdomen is swollen and i can't stop crying, the level of stimulation, check the temperature, pinning, shame as a function of opression, we still need time to explore, centres set up in communities where you can just go and practice sharing intimacy with others, i can't explain it, that's why books don't work, waveforms in all forms, what is in that compartment, i am scared about the new container collapsing, show me where i will live again, the appearance of distance serves a function, all kinds of trust practice, the physiology of transmutation, sounds good from afar, i don't want to look at that anymore, your attention is a form of feeding, then there is the sadistic version which i avoid at all costs, people who like to pretend they don't have needs, one giant seamless prayer, isthatevenaword?, so yah it doesn't stop,

this is how i roll

that word, sitting back on it, buckets and bowls of it, people who have to act like they have nothing to do with you, backchannel method, lua cheia, left the cap off, need to pick those things up to clean under them, i can't think of a stupider way of doing things, my ears are plugged, endure this neglect, i stretched enough to hold all this and that, all the stories that people tell you, all the things you have a difficult time parting with, rip your own band-aid off, nothing fancy going on here, clear crystal sphere resting in the center of my head, soft cow, noodles, relative safety, dogma and what it does for you, i'll take the pictures if there is nobody else around to take them, it isn't personal it is neuro-chemical, i still don't know what that means again, no she's sleeping, self-musing, rose petals falling on marble stairs that descend into the ocean, trust me it isn't called aoneway street, virtual holidays never made manifest, it's portuguese, married to that blue geyser inside me already, i'm hungry, guess i need to change my settings, if she is scared there will be no milk, i looked over the seats at them and said they look dead, you want to make love, 'that's ok' brand, you won't want to stop making love, you just want to fuck and fuck and fuck and fuck, that sphere isn't going anywhere, hold still while i point the blue part of the rainbow into your eye, this is how i roll, open wide, sometimes you get to be that other person's last straw, ticklish laughs, the story where nobody get's their needs met, the need for solitude, find out what is true and operate from that place, sometimes i can see you sitting right next to me, when i went outside to look my whole mailbox was stuffed, you can suck from her tit and she'll lick your bum clean, feeding and cleaning, the whole point of dying without regret is that you live into the things you want for yourself now whatever they may be, store for people who think they need things, complete utter total denial toothpaste, fears fence freedom, you can do whatever you want in your mind, i can see, you aren't here to not affect others, we are all shaping each other, giant four sided pyramid in the middle of a modern city, stuff flying everywhere, nice isn't helping anyone,

the world is coming out of your body

justn'typing time, i like it when you like it, dreaming communion, want control?, get dead, your own personal cage, this is the thing, the pain of colonialism goes to the impossibility of regulating desire, people in cages, expression or somatization, this is when tantrums actually work, give or take a word, uploading takes time, i keep making things, nao se preocupe, send a sticker, maybe you have maybe you haven't, need a thoracic rub, our arms melted and twisted together my right and his left as we sat together under a canopy of leaves, more kombucha, this kind of thingy, sitting doing something, symbol that represents technology, fermented things are like that, i never want to hear your voice again as long as i live, truther, you will never get what you want if you don't ask, sexual shame and shame around desire requires that you develop a pathology, not teasing, i really mean it, the world is coming out of your body, tasted the best, slayage, no that's healthy, the relationship between acceptance and unconsciousness, don't act, if i need it it will be there, and and andndanadnadad dadad dada, nothing does everything, aligning with the mess that you are is perfection, love makes love, oh right - mountain,

practicing cow

silk thread coils, the personality structure that cannot support this, appearances appearing important, maybe satelliting is the only way, protection of solitude, super big bags of nothing, your friends may not be from your neighbourhood, the remoteness of true intimacy, black leather pouch,
swollen face in the morning, i need a plan, the feeling of nothing, bags for stuff, the obvious, i wanted the best for me finally, wow that cord dissolved before my eyes, pictures from around the world, suspiro, dysfunctional dysfunction, that is changing me, time before coffee, what is a spelling mistake?, bowls as stand-ins for my head, facebook brand everything, the new #howdoyoublockthisemail? stadium downtown, ihonestlydon'twantanythingtodowithyouanymore avenue, temporal rules, variations on a theme, people everywhere want to be your friend, coughed out a chunk of that architechture, crystalweb kiss, the impossibility of neurotypicality, i am ok with having less anxiety sometimes, just waiting, practicing cow, all the flesh detaching from inside the shell, endometrial red#2, attention is the only true currency, foundational economic structure, reality communicates to reality, words are souvenirs, you will die eventually, framing device, just squeeze it, might as well be you as no one else can, non- savoury uses for avocadoes, experience of unpopularity, patacake, patapoem, i can barely spell anymore, rub my spine, all kinds of people involved in the re-education of themselves,

almost a couple of minutes

tentacle farm

database destruction crew, you didn't like that, pull down the sleeve, this signal going there, it's like an exercise of hearing yourself consistently lose integrity, unshiny mirror, simply moving things around with your fingers, if i got it i guess i gotta bring it, the annual 'id' games, crying in your lap, flagitation, orb in the corner, nerve clusters, brains are everywhere, hands change over time, frozen left hemisphere, syntax trees, printed on syntax paper, the word 'panties', i seriously need some help with this load, special secret club of discretionary tactics 10 year anniversary jamboree, part of me is traditional, dendrochronology, can't see it without another set of eyes, born uncomfortable, nothing goes in it's right place, electronic sounds that aren't alluding to hand made instrument sounds, anthony and the, can i sleep on the couch?, maybe it is a neurological thing, marker stain, keep it down girl, drawings are tears, the cut healed before their eyes, went there and sat in a cave, communicating this way and that, tentacle farm, clone this, taste of vinegar, concentric thought condominiums, it still works even after the nerve is cut, your eyes touch things in their own way, grown but not older than 3, a forest princess aglow on a bed of moss, i don't want to share my chips, loving people you'll never meet, reclaiming relationship weekend workshop, RRWW, shame and what it does, pema came over for casserole, teeth crunching sound, what's the point?, hit the space bar, copies of whatever you want, duplication specialists, penis time, whatchyaupto?    

gestalt burger

rocktopus, it was built upside down, genius patrol, triple berry, squeezing in and out through soil, making paste, crunching things with your hands sound, the nervous system and what it does for you, you can't help but have respect after you recognize the system of agreements that are already in place, what happens when, 2 3 4 5 and 6D!, stop the numbers from increasing, imaginary necessity, ponder how many different ways of reading every sentence, gestalt burger, i love a new, so far so good 2, this needing thing, goodness express, dorje kasung, woven paper cluster, what the hek?, words are for saying things, way to selfie, say goodbye to your room, work is the priority, no that's just me sitting there doing my thing, smell that sound, wart brand, gloss cluster,

self lubricating ceramics

i want nothing to do with myself, withhold it and it'll appear more rare, collage with my own nipple sin it, way too old for school, dakini training, good for another poem, chat won't bring it to your understanding, somebody new doesn't know you yet, the whole thing fell through the bottom, various forms of collapse give way to new forms of expression, sandy soup, made to mate, glass bead with bubbles inside, just show up and start talking, don't even start, sometimes repeated, the safety of the family, bandying about this term and that, pronk, prufrockian, tag that #pizza, there is no such thing as undoing, streams of particles, spelling love, honest worms, oh no i care, all that resistance makes it stronger, i forgot to call them back, if it isn't there then it isn't, self lubricating ceramics, that key doesn't fit this lock, my nose, it isn't much but it's mine, permission to post, what's the word for that?, can i like that?, wave functions are idealizations, smoothness is a result of eliminating through judgement information deemed unimportant, un-copying, un-writing, i ching you, put that there, the empathic psychopath cafe, jump for joie, he definitely saw her as threat, almost unnatural, the effort to not do what comes naturally to you, unspoken contracts as glue, each individual as part of an intricate larger whole, society is an auto-immune response, miracles are just the undoing of knots, streaming german radio, oh i just forgot, quantum poetry, holographic prose, you are that already, certificate in mail art, worry is about future and guilt is about past, look it's the obvious over there, sock marathon, i disagree with how that is spelt, cigarette flavour, fermented cigarette, i'm so sorry, book before bed, seriously it's a worm, orange worm, worm cluster, this is how i really kiss you, gotta 'do' 'something', such wonderful eyes, behind the seams, plastic brain, judy blume, desiring nothing from without, fuzzy gum, cameras with legs, the difference between privacy and secrets, can't see it long enough, oh look at me, oh no did i just press send?, itchy face, jumped in a pool with no water,

saudade

all my best guesses, self care, relationship to hell, shiftless wonder, watching what happens when you don't help out, the nothing feeling, remote viewing, copy that copy, closet children, 5 strategic questions, scratched too hard, i wake up and it just looks like that, when mommy wants more, clip it here, banal juices, mouth my mouth, bhakti style, judgement suspension addiction is a form of constipation, go in there and really look at it, might as well before you die, what can go wrong?, a style is a style is a style, the impossibility of avoiding pain, the parts that feel they are speaking directly to you, there is no wise, shoulder blade points, hood ornaments, pillows made of donuts, drawcansir, the time it takes to waste time, i need all the love i can get, the roles we play, ithyphallic cluster, word licks, eye whispering, vertical filaments, the pleasurable nature of irritation, you don't get to choose anymore, the days when i painted the nails of strangers in montreal, poetry straights, who you gotta know to get things done?, this thing that has made everyone a form of currency, the embodiment of boiling, sense parade, dopamine structure, the burden of reconciliation, one part watching the other part fall apart, apart mental, drawing for a living, saudade, greasy mirror, paper grease, cow in a pen, zetetic, bowl filled box, institutional face, morriña,

collective unconsciousness

i don't plan on injecting this poem into anything, gag, whatlistwhosthatnevermind, it's national poetry cannon day, pay your dues one letter at a time, relevancy factor 0, resayati, women poetry gangs, watch the type you choose, positive think this, being trained to be a membrane, tracing boecklin by hand, 'it's all about you chrissy', sharp pains on the top left hand side of the head, i literally developed a stutter in that with him, 'if you don't understand i can't tell you', particle/wave duality, gofuckyourselfclub, why is it ok if he does it?, call the dog, i was only 3, feed the rats, does this smell good?, observing the behaviour as it unfolds, the last paper floor, popular or no?, what happens to the family when a mom says no, bibhatsa, constant choking, xenopassiveprintforms, not really needed anywhere, the feeling of having been here before but it isn't deja vu, somebody else fucking do it, get everything ready for everyone then get yourself ready, as if it matters how long i have been doing this, it isn't a gift to anyone if you just emulate, my first answer was most disagreeable, dutika, cluster of coping mechanisms, orange lid, drawing barfing, that line is enough and so is that word, we stopped at the edge of a vast dry lake bed, collective unconsciousness, more reciprocal bulges, sticky thoughts, steam clouding over the windshield so i couldn't see, the fear of liking what nobody else seems to like, this is as far as some people can go, hey that's what families are for,

smelly sound

i can't help this any more than you can help that, running downhill, stop being a fish, amyg, front cort, cereb, tie them all together with some lovely crystal string, more paper mache, that makes good kohl, gunk that wants to creep on you, symbolizing both aspects actually, time for a break, smelly sound, containers don't even exist, self conscious authenticity, shiny shiny shiny mirror, your face will stay that way, the core of online clarity, all the richness diluted, the purity of the form, neti neti - ish, pocket of pus inside the brain even, stop signing me in, the bi sexual nature of everything, orange paper, what comes out through the understanding of things, boycott everything until they stop, little bluelight flashing in the corner of the right eye, hey gimme that, the ears are working differently now,

throat bandha

breathing words, eyes made of crystal, the seclusion to actually focus, lost another poem, messy love bath, a quality of self, sitting towards legs on top of legs eyes gazing into the other, need to back out to see it better, the timbre and flux, this thing there i can't wrap my arms around completely, i'll touch you from here, separated by what?, bawled on that image, actually responsive and sharing that with you, the feeling when i pass my eyes over words, probability amplitudes, transmission of this quality remotely, choosing where to put the word, burning skull on my leg, that space is real estate?, being in a tube and you're being kneaded, code for: i'm sorry, barefeet sponging on moss, of course i see you but the limitations are apparently obvious, approfondment, june was just hammer hammer hammer hammer hammer, selfing prayer, this is the situation, get dérive-ing, anything to take seriously at one point, which brush, creation of a new vocabulary, going down the throat of the blossom all covered in pollen, we can share our gifts with each other, here i am throwing these images out to you, lovely these, but you know that, a little room to be in, words pointing to what isn't, bring me back still, looking for the looker, the absorption quality of flesh, feeling weak to the magnitude of this, it's only always, birthdays are for mothers born days are for offspring, it's quite something, what did you say again about "it isn't what you'd call a 'human quality'", made a new tool to pierce the membrane from inside, throat bandha, don't just stand there help her up, princess of disks, how are your lumbars?, coming back for all of you, let me crawl inside, let me crawl all over you , it's all difference so there is no appearance, rocking pelvis, i can't get this thread out, of course we will cry, sun drying hair, ok, it doesn't even look like a word after a while, please hold this mirror up, press into it it's soft, the most comfortable receiving thing of all,

perineum to pineal

sometimes i can't tell what i am, i couldn't stand up, these cramps make me feel like i am falling, all these sidewalks with no people on them, this phenomena is quite something, each one gets more and more complex, you can push too hard with nothing, a deep sense of poverty on a certain level, i'm here waiting you know, this part will wait forever, the radiation effects the skin for hours after, i put myself in prison, the feeling of your whole body praying, nālamekabhāshayā, unpacking everything, this green light tells me it is on still, the clouds are burning off now, just wait and listen, his whole body heavy from the weight of this, the dream where i gave birth to myself, nidulariaceae, facebook sangha, what happens when you just tell the truth, interrupting what?, i can't control my brush as well today can you tell?, layers and layers of crud to skim, the dizziness of my throat when i go to speak, perineum to pineal, a-rational and contralogical, one thing nesting inside another, i don't want to do anything else but this, this channel brings in all kinds of information, a barely perceptible filament, i need a shovel or something to get some of this out of here, when i do this others things aren't getting done, i can't write it here, sometimes chunking makes it harder, so many images, the polarities, their need for each other and the spin they create, water on the boil, i can't lift my head from the side of the cot, i can't look up, with all my heart i pray this sprout to grow, this membrane that keeps one thing separated from another, looks like a mom in a basement, apparently a mother, i just put my whole hand into it, the whole chest area heaving up and drawing me forward, more falling, this bruise here, my god i love you, what are you?, what is happening?, smashed jar, i don't think there is really enough time left to follow those antiquated protocols, so tired, the ability to stay focused and work hard, i'm just in the kitchen making us something to eat,

the obvious

the obvious / chrissy core / dadawitch  / 2013

nothing pusher

these poems cry me, shhhhh, air on it and pink and poking out, yes, just caving to itself, raw feelz, you know this because you recognize it in yourself, the subtlety of this cannot be communicated at a distance, literally will have to touch me to understand, the delicacy of this tenderness, yes, i get a feeling of what it isn't that is you, no work just to share what i am, a crack in the sternum, my heart, these covers smell good, ditch the shell, it's hard to sit up straight, all these 0's and 1's spelling out the word love, what do you want for lunch then?, i could eat your mouth, what have i done now?, i will take it into me, not hard just direct viewing, piles of food wasting, that career path has been derailed for a while, the favouring of a weaker limb, it honestly changes from one minute to the next, paper bed, less frequency more density, that feeling then spread over my whole entire body, the whole thing gave way, nothing pusher, this is what my practice looks like, it is not a not love situation, attention in these areas, i am available to have questions asked of me, this is devotional, there is a kitchen in every home, a yellow construction paper circle, tucked my hair down the back of my dress, what happened then?, where did you go?, i am always standing just here, you know this,