Sunday, 21 July 2013

perineum to pineal

sometimes i can't tell what i am, i couldn't stand up, these cramps make me feel like i am falling, all these sidewalks with no people on them, this phenomena is quite something, each one gets more and more complex, you can push too hard with nothing, a deep sense of poverty on a certain level, i'm here waiting you know, this part will wait forever, the radiation effects the skin for hours after, i put myself in prison, the feeling of your whole body praying, nālamekabhāshayā, unpacking everything, this green light tells me it is on still, the clouds are burning off now, just wait and listen, his whole body heavy from the weight of this, the dream where i gave birth to myself, nidulariaceae, facebook sangha, what happens when you just tell the truth, interrupting what?, i can't control my brush as well today can you tell?, layers and layers of crud to skim, the dizziness of my throat when i go to speak, perineum to pineal, a-rational and contralogical, one thing nesting inside another, i don't want to do anything else but this, this channel brings in all kinds of information, a barely perceptible filament, i need a shovel or something to get some of this out of here, when i do this others things aren't getting done, i can't write it here, sometimes chunking makes it harder, so many images, the polarities, their need for each other and the spin they create, water on the boil, i can't lift my head from the side of the cot, i can't look up, with all my heart i pray this sprout to grow, this membrane that keeps one thing separated from another, looks like a mom in a basement, apparently a mother, i just put my whole hand into it, the whole chest area heaving up and drawing me forward, more falling, this bruise here, my god i love you, what are you?, what is happening?, smashed jar, i don't think there is really enough time left to follow those antiquated protocols, so tired, the ability to stay focused and work hard, i'm just in the kitchen making us something to eat,